How a hypnotherapist can help you with pet loss

If you’ve ever wondered whether hypnotherapy could help you through the grief of losing a pet, you’re not alone in asking. It’s also not the most obvious place people think to turn, largely because of what most of us think hypnotherapy actually is.

So let me clear that up first.

What hypnotherapy isn’t

It isn’t a swinging watch. It isn’t someone making you cluck like a chicken or revealing your deepest secrets. You won’t be asleep, unconscious, or out of control. You’ll be aware of everything that’s happening throughout and you can stop at any point.

The word trance gets used a lot in connection with hypnotherapy and it’s one I  avoid because it gives the wrong impression entirely. What’s actually happening is much more straightforward and actually has a scientific basis. Your mind shifts into a calm, focused state, similar to being completely absorbed in a book or a long walk where the rest of the world fades out a little. You’ve been in that state plenty of times without realising it.

It’s also worth knowing that this focused state doesn’t have to mean lying down with your eyes closed. Self hypnosis can be used while walking, actively focusing the mind on something specific while the body is moving. It’s particularly useful for breaking out of repetitive negative thoughts, which is something that comes up a lot in pet loss grief.

What hypnotherapy actually is

In my work I use a blend of hypnotherapy and cognitive techniques together. That means there’s talking involved, proper therapeutic conversation, alongside the hypnotherapy itself. The two work well together because talking helps us understand what we’re working with, and hypnotherapy helps the work go deeper than conversation alone can reach.

It’s tailored to each person. Someone dealing with sudden loss needs something quite different to someone who has been caring for an elderly pet for months and is exhausted by the time they lose them. There’s no set script.

How it can help with pet loss specifically

Pet loss grief shows up in very specific ways and that’s where hypnotherapy can be really practical.

Sleep is often a big problem. The mind won’t switch off, thoughts replay, you listen for sounds that aren’t there anymore. Self hypnosis techniques for sleep are one of the most effective tools I use, not a cure but a way of giving your mind permission to rest.

Guilt is probably the thing I work with most. The what ifs, the second guessing, the feeling that you should have done something differently. The blend of talking and hypnotherapy techniques is really effective at helping people challenge those thoughts and find a more honest and compassionate way of looking at what happened.

Intrusive thoughts, the ones that arrive without warning and take you back into the worst moments, can also be worked with effectively. Learning to notice a thought, step back from it and respond differently takes practice but it genuinely works.

Loneliness, the physical absence of a routine built around another living being, and the overwhelm that hits out of nowhere are all things that respond well to this kind of work too.

What a session actually looks like

Before any hypnotherapy happens, we talk. I want to understand what’s going on for you specifically, what the guilt or the grief or the intrusive thoughts look like in practice, and what you need most from our work together.

Then, if we both agree it feels right, I’ll guide you into a relaxed and focused state using a simple breathing focused technique. This is a way of settling the nervous system so the mind is quieter and more open to the work.

From there, what happens depends on what we’re working on. If we’re addressing guilt, for example, I might guide you to observe the moment you’re carrying guilt about from a safe distance, not to relive it but to look at it differently. To see yourself as you actually were at that time, someone making decisions with the information they had, not the information you have now.

I’d work with suggestions and imagery around self compassion, and we might do some releasing work, letting the guilt go rather than holding onto it. I’d finish with some strengthening work around who you are as a person and the love that was always there behind every decision you made.

You leave with something to take away too. A technique, a reframe, something to use between sessions when the difficult thoughts come back. Because they will come back, but they tend to have less hold on you each time.

A note on how I work

I’d only ever use hypnotherapy techniques if we’d both agreed it felt right for you. Every session is built around you and where you are with your loss, and that always comes first.

Sessions are online, one to one, and tailored to your specific situation whether you’re dealing with the death of a pet, anticipatory grief, or a loss that others haven’t taken seriously.

If you’d like to find out more, you’re welcome to get in touch.

When it feels like too much to handle on your own.